It's all about balance, I tell myself as I take a deep breath. One, two, three... I exhale and open my eyes.
I take a moment to stretch under my blanket and reflect on my dreams (when I remember them).
It's Thursday morning.
I roll over to the other side of my bed and grab my thermometer. I take my temperature, take my phone and enter my biometrics.
I usually try not to head over to my socials first thing but today I decide to go check my Instagram before getting out of bed.
The news is everywhere: war has begun in Ukraine...
I must admit that I haven't been following the news these days.
Is that a bad thing? I don't know.
So there I am, scrolling and trying to understand what is happening.
The more I read about the current situation, the more I'm overtaken by a strong feeling of hopelessness.
This same feeling I always have when something larger than me happens and when, in a very concrete way, there is absolutely nothing that I can do.
Should I share a post that has already been shared by millions of other people? Should I donate money to the Ukrainian army?
None of the above feels like the right thing to do, so I decide to turn my phone off and start my day.
What a time to be alive...
As the day goes by, the general state of hopelessness evolves into a numbness I'm very familiar with.
In a way that's even worse. Being numb is a coping mechanism that takes me into an emotionless limbo that I have a hard time to escape.
I close my eyes for a second and lean my head against the window, I am now on a train to my hometown. A warm feeling caresses my face.
As I try to open my eyes slowly, I'm blinded by the sun.
Thank you, sun.
The internal conflict has somehow vanished, giving place to a genuine feeling of gratitude.
I'm looking forward to seeing my loved ones and to seeking refuge in the greenhouses of the botanical garden.
I choose to go to my favourite place, with my favourite people.
I choose to celebrate life by doing things that make me feel good so that I can increase my frequency and therefore bring light even in the darkest of times.
I've been exposed to life's injustices and vulnerabilities from a very young age.
The person I am today is the fruit and living proof of this fragility... (A long story for another day perhaps.)
Me choosing me in moments of despair may seem like a form of selfishness...but I believe it is quite the opposite.
When such global events are taking place I think it's important to act locally first.
Think about it: what good would I have done or brought today if I hadn't chosen to celebrate life? Isn't that the most honourable way of remembering the ones who aren't anymore or those who are suffering?
It's all about balance, I say to myself repeatedly.
How does one conjure darkness? By choosing life.
Want to reread the whole series? BRUZZ.be/bruxellesvies